I Couldn't Tell You I Love You But I Do - A Yu Yu Hakusho Condential
by Ailaya
Summary: A very short story told from the point of view of Hiei.


As I stood looking down at her tombstone, I found myself unsure of what lay before me. What was I going to do now? Since the moment that girl had entered my life that fateful day, she had been by my side and now she was gone. At first it agitated me to have her so close to me as I was unused to having someone constantly around me but it seemed that no matter what I did or said, she was there with a smile upon her face. That smile that had warmed my heart and whenever it graced her features, made me realize that she could see me as more than what I was.

The memory of the first time we met is still fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday instead of three years ago. She was walking home from a long day at Two Sisters Cafe where she worked as a waitress. She didn't own a car then.. she always felt that walking was best and that's just what she did no matter the time of day. And this particular day.. it was a stormy night.

As she walked down the street, paying little mind to the people around her, she allowed herself to fall into deep thoughts of her current situation and career choice. She was unaware of the shadow that followed her.. unaware of the danger she was in until it was almost too late.

Before she was able to sense the presence behind her, a hand reached out from the darkness and clamped heavily over her mouth. She let out a scream as they always do when frightened but no one would be able to hear her. Dragging her back into the shadows, the dark silhouette had a mission.

She struggled against the hands, feeling them tear at her clothing until they hung torn from her body. She had to have known what was going to happen.. and it did. The moment he had thrust into her cunt, tearing through her wall she let out a scream that was quickly silenced by his hands upon her throat. As he choked her, he thrust into her small framed body driving himself into that blissfulness.

It was then that I came in. I had been taking my usual night stroll. Because of the annoyances of my close friends, I had long realized that taking a walk during the night gave me the calm I was so often denied during the day. As I walked past that alley, I heard a distinct noise in the darkness that made me stop. I had heard a muffled cry for help that was followed by a growl of "shut up".

At the time I had no idea how the next few moments would change my life forever. Reaching behind my head, my fingers wrapped around the handle of my katana and I slipped into the shadows. It took my eyes mere seconds to adjust at the change of darkness and in the meantime I listened to the sounds he made. It was clear to me that he was going to kill her by the tense muscles of his arms as he strangled her. I knew what I was going to do before I did it.

He never saw it coming. With a gleam of my steel, I decapitated the rapist, his body falling away from the girl. Although she was grateful she did show her fear of me. After all... I just killed a man I did not know. Staring at me with wide feared filled eyes, she could not speak and finally her eyes rolled to the back of her head just before she fell to the ground. That irritated me.. but I suppose that was to be expected since she had been raped. Now began my contemplation of whether or not to leave her for the police to find but then I realized that leaving her in this state could mean she could possibly be raped again. Reaching down, I lifted the small woman into my arms.

Leaving the shadows of the alley, I began to make my way home. As I walked under the streetlights, I looked down at the woman I was carrying and was completely taken aback. She had long pitch black hair that flowed around her small round face and thick plush lips that actually made my pants feel much tighter around my groin. I couldn't believe the thoughts that were going through my head just looking down at her but I have to be honest with myself I did want to have a taste of her.

Letting out a sigh, I shook my head and raised my gaze trying to keep myself from staring at her but as the minutes passed I found myself wanting to look down at her more and more and finally I looked down at her once again. She had caramel brown skin, a shade that was not often seen around here and it made me wonder if her womanhood tasted just as sweet. I frowned disliking the thoughts that were going through my mind and I looked up once again to find myself in front of my friend's apartment.

Knocking upon his door, I could almost hear his words in my head and it wasn't a surprise that when he opened the door, he watched me with that bright smirk upon his face that hid the danger that I knew he presented. Opening his mouth to speak, he quickly fell silent at the sight of the young woman in my arms. "Tell me you didn't harm her.." Yeah that's just like that idiot.. to think the worst but who could blame him? After all I am still a wanted criminal.

"Shut up, idiot... I found her in an alley way being raped by some thug.. him I did **harm**. He won't be hurting another woman..." I growled and carried her over towards the couch where I laid her down. Watching me for a brief moment, he walked around the couch and looked down at her. Without looking over towards him, I knew that he was thinking the same as I was. Her shapely body was partially exposed through shreds of her clothing and we could see that she had a DD bra size.

"You found her when she was being raped?" He questioned me and I nodded my head before looking over at him. His dark green eyes remained on the beautiful young woman and I couldn't help but feel some jealousy towards the way he was looking at her.

"Wh-where am I?" Her voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned towards her.

"Hn.." was the only word I could say to her. It was my friend who answered her question.

"You're safe now.." he said in that calm voice that only he could use. At his words, she smiled at him.

Once again that jealousy I felt rose within me. Even then I suppose I knew she would make me feel in a way no woman had before. The next morning found me taking her to her apartment. When I left her, I knew I would return and I did. Every day I found myself inside her living room enjoying her cooking, listening to her speak of her day. She would then question me about what I did for a living, who my friends were or if I had any family. Try as I might I couldn't tell her anything about myself and as time went on.. she grew to accept this or so I thought.

Her whole world revolved around me and now that I reflect back upom our brief time together I realized my world revolved around her. Every thing she said, every thing she did made me feel something be it anger, sadness, happiness or.. something more.

Even though she spent much of her time with me, she did make one friend. A woman with a son who had moved into her apartment not long after our meeting. When I stayed the night I often awoke to their banter. During those times her friend would ask her if I was her boyfriend or fiance and she would smile and tell her that I wasn't interested in her in that way. I could detect the sadness in her voice.

She wanted to be with me.. to be mine and I wanted the same but didn't know how to tell her. I mean if you were like me.. cold, angry, vengeful.. how do you tell a woman that's kind, understanding, gentle that you loved her? I couldn't tell her. She did everything for me.. and I didn't know how to tell her how I felt.

I'll never forget that day.. I walked into her apartment find her on her back. I touched her face thinking it was nothing but she didn't wake up. In a panic, I took her to the nearest hospital it was there they told me.. she was dying. They couldn't tell me from what but she was leaving this world. I tried to get them to do something anything.. I couldn't lose her but they said there was nothing they could do.

Becoming desperate I went to my boss thinking that if anyone could do something to save her it would be him but he too told me there was nothing he could do. I was losing her and it was breaking me up inside. Not since I learned of my mother's passing had I felt such sadness.

I returned to her side to hold her hand.. to watch her life leave her eyes. She smiled at me then.. it was weak.. and I knew she didn't have much time. "I know I don't have long.. I just wanted to tell you.." just saying those words took a lot out of her I could see it. "I love you.." As soon as the word "you" passed through her lips, she closed her eyes and she was gone.

She had died before I could tell her how she made me feel. Staring down at the sheet that concealed her body, I still could not tell her how I felt. A frown touched my face as I walked out of her room, past the doctors who watched me, past the nurses who looked upon me with pity. What do they know? Do they know that she did everything for me and I gave her nothing in return?

And here I stand now beside her grave, watching as a single dead leaf landed upon the top. Frowning gently, I brushed my hand over the cold stone, the feel of its roughness scraping against my fingers caused me to shudder. I closed my eyes and could almost see her beautiful smiling face before me. Reaching out I placed my hand upon her cheek and bent forward to rest my forehead against hers.

I couldn't tell her I loved her but feeling her wrapping her arms around me, I understood then she knew I loved her. Opening my eyes, I looked down at the tombstone that only bore her name. "I will see you in the next life


End file.
